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love

Today my loves…

Posted in Today by

Today marks 9 years I have been married to your daddy.  Nine years of marriage that have flown by too fast!

Daddy and I met the very first day I arrived at Oklahoma State University in August 1999…wow I feel old typing that!  We didn’t technically start dating until that October but I knew the night I met him, he was someone special.  We never exchanged numbers or anything but happened to run into each other at a party that October night.  I saw your dad across the group of people and we made eye contact.  A few minutes later he walked up to me and told me I was beautiful.  We spent the entire evening talking and laughing.  We went with some friends to Wal-mart (I know, romantic right?) and we played in the toy aisle forever!  I still have my Star Wars toy we bought that night.  We went to Whataburger and ate with friends and then watched the sun come up at the lake.  As our friends dropped me off I didn’t know if I would see him again.  I knew we were meant to be together so on my way to class that morning I left a note on his Jeep.  And the rest is history!

We were young and in love but we also spent a lot of time talking about things….politics, religion, family, kids, careers, etc.  We had SO much fun together!  Your daddy was not only my boyfriend at the time but he became my best friend.  I met your dad shortly after my mom passed away and he was such a gift from God and I believe put in my life at that time for a reason.  He truly helped me grieve my mother’s death and was such a pillar of strength for me.  For the first time in a long time I felt I had someone protecting me.

Over the past 12.5 years we have endured a lot of sad times as well as happy times.  We have experienced deaths….some so sudden the shock still stings and some not so sudden yet equally painful.  We have suffered a miscarriage as well as the trials of infertility.  We have celebrated mommy’s graduation from Oklahoma State University and Daddy’s graduation from Cleveland Chiropractic College.  Most importantly, we were abundantly blessed with your arrival.  We prayed for years for a baby and we got such an amazing double blessing.

Through all the ups and downs your daddy has been my strength and my comfort.  He loves me unconditionally.  He tells me I’m beautiful, stunning, awesome, incredible all the time.  He is truly the best Daddy!  You boys adore your daddy and rightfully so.  He is always bragging about you and telling everyone what new things you are learning and funny things you might be doing at the time.  He wrestles, takes you on your balance bikes, tickles you, teaches you new things and most of all he loves you with every ounce of his heart.  When I met your daddy I knew he would be the best father to our children!  I was right.

As I look back on 9 years of marriage I think about how I felt when I married your dad and how I thought I couldn’t love him more but I honestly fall more in love with him with each day that comes.  I pray for you boys to one day feel this way about your wives.  I pray you love unconditionally.  I pray you find yourself in relationships that allow you to be yourself, that allow you to grow and evolve, that make you enjoy life and that you find someone you fall deeper in love with over the days and years that pass.  I hope you look to your daddy on how to be a husband and father.  He is the best role model around!

So today my loves know that I love your daddy with all my heart.

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi

June 14, 2012
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PM Photo Challenge – September Favorite

Posted in Mom, Paper Mama by

Over at The Paper Mama is a weekly photo challenge, which I always tell myself to enter but then forget.  Not this week.

This week’s challenge is September Favorite and I already knew the set of photos I would choose from, the day we took the boys to the cemetery to see my mom, Grammie Pammie.

Since the boys were born I’ve tried to make an extra effort to keep my mom’s memory alive through photos and saying her name to the boys but it will never be enough.

I debated for a long time WHEN I would first take them to the cemetery but I couldn’t wait any longer.  It has been over 2 years since I had last been, which was to bury my grandpa, my mom’s dad.

It seems like the debate comes up often with people about cemeteries and what purpose it serves, which leads to the discussion of burial vs cremation.

Personally, I like having a special, quiet place to go “visit” my mother.  I know she is always with me and she isn’t really JUST there at the grave but having the headstone with her name and remembering the day I had to watch her casket be lowered into the ground will always have a comforting feeling to me.  After the cemetery service no one walked over the burial spot but me and my older brother.  The two of us stood there and watched the woman who raised us and was THE most influential family member in our lives be lowered into the ground.  Again, MOST people don’t care to see this but for me it was a sense of closure that she was really gone.  Throughout the last weeks of her life we were given false hope then it would be crushed and the roller coaster continued and toyed with our emotions.  This was the closure I needed to really believe she was REALLY gone and no hope was left.  I wrote my mom a letter and put it in her casket with a photo of she and I and I can still vaguely remember what I wrote in that letter.  The night before the funeral my step-dad came to me and informed me they would be closing the casket at the funeral home that evening.  The sense of urgency came over me that THAT would be my VERY LAST moment to see her body and to see the face of the woman I loved SO MUCH.  The face I looked up to for 18 years.  The face that I saw in the morning at the breakfast table, in the car on the way to school, to cheer me up when I was sad….the face that was the MOST IMPORTANT face to a daughter.  I rushed to write what I was feeling that night and grabbed the photo of us I kept in my room and hurried to get it there in time.

Most people I know don’t care to visit cemeteries or think of them as a place to “visit” their loved ones but it works for me.

My boys are only 20 months and of course they don’t understand anything about a cemetery or who this Grammie Pammie is right now but one day THEY WILL.

I often pray that my children will be old when they have to bury me, not 18.

Young children at a cemetery are not predictable so I came prepared.  We brought snacks so we could have a mini picnic.  The boys sat down in front of her stone and snacked on their raisins and did their usual babble but then they would point to her stone and babble with such intensity I like believe they were saying, “Hi Grammie Pammie!”

They then got up and walked around and Sutton leaned down and touched her stone.

Yes, I shed a few tears that afternoon but they were mixed tears.  Tears of obvious sadness.  Tears of happiness as I looked around and saw what an amazing family I had help create.  Tears of fear of raising children without my mom. Tears of hope for what my children will become.

 

My September Favorite

Head over to The Paper Mama and check out all the other entries!

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi

October 2, 2011
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20 Month Old Boys

Posted in Fynn, Sutton, Updates by

No longer babies really….getting used to that slowly.  Yesterday my BOYS turned 20 months old!  Seriously.

Fynn

The older Fynn gets the more ornery he gets.  He is learning what “time out” is REAL fast.  But he is also so sweet and funny and loving!  He just gets wound up and thinks “no” is funny.  We’ll see how long that lasts.

Fynn is getting GRADUALLY better about food.  He has eaten meatloaf and chicken a few times now and likes oatmeal more often than not.  He will DEVOUR some eggs and toast.  Both boys LOVE fruit and lots of it!  And both boys aren’t fans of veggies.  But today at lunch Fynn didn’t pick out ALL his veggies from his mac’n cheese.  🙂  PROGRESS!  Sunday night we had pizza and he ate some of the chicken, spinach, artichoke pizza, which made me proud.  He loves organic beef hot dogs, chicken dogs and veggies dogs as well as sweet potato fries and veggie chips.  And last night it happened….the inevitable….the boys ate CHOCOLATE!  We got Papa Murphy’s Pizza and I got some chocolate chip cookie dough from there for dessert.  Daddy and I agreed to let them taste.  BOY DID THEY LOVE IT!!!  And I have to admit it was cute seeing the smeared chocolate all over their faces.  Fynn usually doesn’t like sweets.  Recently for Miranda’s birthday we had cake and ice cream and Fynn would have NOTHING to do with it.  And when we went to have cupcakes last month he wouldn’t TOUCH them!  But chocolate he likes!

Fynn is talking more and more since he started preschool.  Not the clearest yet but I can make out what he is trying to say.  He will say mama, dadda, quack quack, dog, baby, bubba, pwease, ball, bear, down, bye bye, book, nana (banana), cheese and a few others I just can’t remember.  He will try to say Wiggles because that is his favorite show.  I have an episode on the DVR I play to keep them entertained while I make them lunch most days.  He does love the word dadda and wants to call EVERYONE that name.

He loves books.  WANTS TO READ THEM ALL DAY.  Wait, I mean he will bring them to you for you to read to him.  Fynn is a wrestler all of a sudden.  He spent 45 minutes wrestling his brother last week and I got video to prove it!  Fynn likes to push the limits with Mommy and Daddy too.  When we are downstairs he likes to try and stand on the couch, which is a big NO NO!  He will also try to stand and run around our bed, also a NO NO.  Hence where “time out” has come into play.  He does understand “time out” and gets the SADDEST face!  But he is so sweet after his time is over and I know he is understanding the concept.

Also, this boy is a DANCER!  He will get really serious, point his fingers and do a little dance in a circle when he hears music he likes.  Fynn is a big kisser as well.  Anytime we are leaving a group of people he will go around and give everyone BIG kisses!  And he will also blow kisses.  When it comes to babies, he LOVES them.

Finally, he is doing so great at preschool!  He doesn’t cry and walks right in.  He eats his lunch and his teachers keep telling me how sweet and adorable the boys are….I’m sure they tell all the parents that.  He is struggling a bit to nap well but he will get the hang of it.  I’ve put their nap mats down here at home and he will go climb into his so I know he doesn’t mind the mat.

 

Sutton

Sutton’s favorite thing to do is dump a storage bin full of toys and then one-by-one place them back in the bin.  But he will take random toys and bring them to me or Daddy and say, “thank you.”  Anytime he hands anything to anyone he says, “thank you.”  It is really sweet.

Sutton has become the PICKY eater all of a sudden.  And he LOVES the word, “no.”  But he says “no” to everything!  I’ll ask him, “Sutton, want to go watch some cartoons?”  His reply, “no” followed by him going in to watch cartoons.  He loves bananas, oatmeal, sweet potato fries, veggie dogs, cinnamon toast, strawberries and veggie chips.  Both boys LOVE LOVE LOVE Odwalla bars and Cliff bars.  Those are “treats.”  The few times we have offered the boys sweets Sutton is the one who devours it!  Loves vanilla ice cream, cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies.  He gets that from his mama! 🙂  Both boys go through phases though of liking something and then not liking it a few days later.  Typical toddler I guess.  I just keep trying to give them things over and over and hoping they eventually just eat what I put in front of them.  We are definitely trying to do the “that’s dinner” concept and it’s hard at times but after a few minutes of fussing they will sometimes just EAT IT!

Sutton is speaking so much clearer since preschool started.  He will really try so hard to repeat everything we say it’s so cute!  He says nana (banana), ball, tank ew, no, uh oh, choo choo, dadda, mama, quack quack, bubba, cheese and his favorite is to say “bye bye” with the hand movement and then blow kisses!  He will do this to everyone….even at Target.  They both will!  LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!

It’s getting so fun being able to direct them…..”let’s go brush our teeth” and “let’s go eat breakfast” and “let’s go upstairs” etc. are followed by that action.  They are becoming such little BOYS!  I love it and yet I hate it because I miss the days of sweet babies snuggled up with me napping!

Sutton loves to DANCE!  He will spin and spin and flail his arms about.  He is the child that will always stop what he is doing and make sure you see him.  That grin of his is UNDENIABLE!!!  He too loves books and really likes the picture/word books where we point out something and he has to say what it is.  Loves making the animal noises like his brother!

When I take the boys to preschool I have to put them in their wagon because I have to somehow manage to get TWO TODDLERS, two nap mats, two backpacks and two lunch boxes all inside a building FULL of parents and kids.  The first few days of preschool Sutton CRIED AND CRIED when I left but drop-offs are getting easier each week.  Today I let them carry their backpacks into the room so getting them from the wagon to the classroom wasn’t so bad.  Their teachers are SO sweet!

Both boys LOVE sports.  They love basketball and Fynn loves to throw the football and kick the soccer ball.  Makes mama proud!

Some Pictures Of Course….

Fynn loves to come from behind and pull Sutton down.
Sutton doesn’t seem to be too thrilled.

Here is the storage bin with Sutton putting his toys inside right after he DUMPED them ALL out!
Such a cutie!

Playing hoops together!  Love the brotherly playtime and Sutton even has the Michael Jordan tongue action DOWN!

Who wouldn’t love that grin!?

These are the moments I am so glad I have twins!  I’m so thankful they have each other.

My heart hurts with how much I love these guys.  I can’t get enough of them!

My buddies!!!

Until next post..

The Mamarazzi

September 21, 2011
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Snuggles

Sutton is my SNUGGLE MONSTER!  He loves to run to me with open arms, wrap his arms around me and SQUEEZE!  I got to capture one of our evening snuggles so here is my EMBRACE THE CAMERA for today.

Fynn was snuggling with us! He’s more focused on chewing his fingers….dang molars.

 

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi

August 4, 2011
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Me and My Boys

I want to start getting in the habit of participating in “Embrace the Camera” Thursdays.  This wasn’t taken today but it is the most recent picture I have with my boys.  I’m going to have to do some practice with the self-timer for next week.

I don’t want to look back and wish I would have had more pictures with my babies so here is a new beginning to try and capture more memories WITH them.

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi

July 28, 2011
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Closet

Posted in Fynn, House, Playtime, Shoes, Sutton, Twins by

Our closet has become the boys’ favorite place to play!  It is located right when you come in from the garage and through the laundry room so they love to run in there and play.  If we have any clothes on the floor, they have to pick them up and put them in the hamper.  Then come the SHOES!  Mr. Sutton is OBSESSED with shoes.  It’s hysterical.  And then of course, the HANGERS!  Oh what fun it is play with hangers.  They have a room FULL of toys, yet it’s these cheap, plastic items that they love.  Go figure.

Fynn stole a brown high heel!


And there is ALWAYS some brotherly love – wrestling!

Oh how I love my little buddies!

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi

July 27, 2011
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L.O.V.E.

Posted in Jason by

Just wanted to share a photo of the love of my life.

Thanks to my sister-in-law for finally getting a picture of us!

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi

July 25, 2011
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