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c-section

Our Kiki

Posted in Fynn, Jason, Kiki, Sutton by

Mother's Day 2011

What would we do without our Kiki?!!!  Jason’s mom is “kiki” to our boys and cannot be called “grandma” because she looks way too young for that name.  She has been there since Day One.  Literally.  She drove up the SECOND she got the call the boys were coming that she didn’t even wait for Jason’s dad, she just hit the road.  She stayed with us for 3 weeks and I cried ALL.DAY.LONG when she had to leave.  She went to all the doctor’s appointments with me since Jason was still finishing up chiropractic school.  All the nurses thought she was my sister, not the Kiki.

Kiki

She was a LIFE SAVER!  I honestly can say we would have gone crazy without her.  Not having my own mother around I knew so little and was so scared of even the simplist thing.  She gave them their first bath at home, she would suck the HUGE boogies out of Fynn’s nose, she would make sure we ate and slept and when Jason got sick she camped out in the living room and did all the feedings with me.  She would calm my nerves when we had to take Sutton in for his heart murmur and hip dysplasia.  When I would just cry for no reason other than pure exhaustion she would calmly tell me that everything would be okay.  When I was so sad about Sutton’s inability to latch and nurse she reassured me he would be just find drinking from a bottle.  Kiki made everything feel like it would all be okay.  And it was.

First Bath

I was utterly exhausted and trying to heal from a c-section and Kiki saved me!  As soon as the boys finished their first bottles she would take them in the living room and tell me to go back to sleep.  It was the best gift anyone could offer at that moment.  I would get up and come into the living room and she would be covered in babies.  When it was getting closer to her leaving I was terrified to be alone with the twins and handle feedings, etc. on my own.  Fynn was nursing but Sutton had to have a bottle because of his latching problems so doing a simultaneous feeding was daunting.  Kiki went to Target and gave me the opportunity to do a “trial run” and when she walked in I had Fynn latched nursing with a bottle in Sutton’s mouth.  I had never felt so accomplished in my entire life.  Those few weeks were so amazing and I will always look back and be thankful for the bonding we got to experience.  A new mom without her mom is a horribly sad situation.  My mom’s death REALLY hit home once the boys were born.  It continues to get harder at times with each new day realizing everything my mom is missing.  She would have truly enjoyed being around my babies!

Kiki

I’m just so thankful my kids have ONE amazing Kiki.  Grandmas are special to all children and I remember both mine fondly.  I remember our rituals and loving moments.  I am so happy my boys will grow up with such an involved Kiki.

KikiKiki

The boys get to spend every Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon with their Kiki so I can go work with Jason at the clinic.  We live 2 miles from Jason’s parents so we are together often.  Pappy, Jason’s dad, and Kiki have been so involved with babysitting and spending time with our kids, sometimes they go running for them instead of Mommy and Daddy.

Kiki & Pappy

It is so important for kids to have parents AND grandparents who are not just involved but who are PRESENT.  I’ve learned so much growing up that it isn’t about the gifts or the trips or any of the material things….I remember the moments when I looked up and saw my family PRESENT in what was going on around us.  They were PRESENT in the moment of putting together my Barbie house or rocking in a chair or reading a book…..that was what mattered.  The eye contact.  The embraces.  Showing up when it counts.  The physical act of showing someone you are PRESENT and you LOVE them.  I want my children to be surrounded with that type of love every single day.

Kiki

We Love You Kiki!

July 7, 2011
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My Family Part III

Posted in Sutton by

Ahhhhh my sweet Sutton!!!

Sutton

Sutton is my youngest.  🙂  He is two minutes younger than Fynn and I am sure that will be mentioned often down the road.

I will never forget my worry for this sweet boy.  Later in my pregnancy I found out I had cholestasis, which required me to go to the doctor twice a week for bio physicals.  This was basically a sonogram which allowed us to monitor the boys’ breathing, movements, heart rates, etc.  There had been a couple of appointments where we thought we would be delivering but then decided after more tests it was okay to allow the pregnancy to continue a bit longer.  At 35 weeks and 5 days I went into the appointment alone and came out heading to the hospital.  I remember calling my mother-in-law from the waiting room telling her I was going to BEG and PLEAD for my doctor to take them out NOW.  The itching was beyond torture…..IT.WOULD.NOT.STOP!  I think Jason was ready for it to be over as well, since the scratching kept him up all night too.  During the biophysical Fynn passed with flying colors but they spend over an HOUR on Sutton and had concerns for his well-being.  That was at 4:00 and they were born at 6:14 and 6:16 p.m.

Once Fynn was out I was so tense waiting to hear my next little guy’s cry.  He was breach and the doctor had a tough time getting him out.  Fynn had been head down ready to come out for some time so he was quick to come out.  After what felt like 30 minutes (which in all actuality was more like 30 seconds) I was told Sutton was out.  I didn’t hear any crying though.  I kept asking if he was okay and they assured me he was fine that breach babies sometimes don’t cry right when they are born.  Jason ran over to check on him and came back to inform me “Sutton has your big lips!”  He did have a few hiccups – minor hip dysplasia, heart murmur and a recessed chin, which made nursing almost impossible.Daddy & Sutton

The feeling I described in Fynn’s post was magnified now – all of this times two within minutes of each other might make a woman faint!  Seeing them together, one in each of daddy’s arms was a vision I will never ever forget.

A week after we came home from the hospital we went back to visit some friends who had just had their son.  In the hallway we saw my anesthesiologist who was BEYOND AMAZING!!!!!!!!  I wish I could remember his name.  He stopped us in the hallway of the hospital and told us that after our delivery he went home and told his wife he had seen such a beautiful moment of pure joy and happiness.  He said he has done this so long and it’s usually all the same but with us he saw something awesome.  I thought that was so sweet!

Sutton had two things from day 1 – BIG LIPS and HUGE CHEEKS!

Cheeks

This child slept the first 3-4 months of life.  Literally would suck a bottle down without even opening his eyes.  Every photo I took with my iPhone was of him asleep or looking about half-asleep.  He had the most adorable little grin.  His dark blue eyes would light up when he would smile.  He was always such a snuggler!  We got into a horrible habit of letting him sleep on our chests because the sweetness of those moments was undeniable.  My father-in-law is the nickname man and he still to this day calls Sutton “potato man.”  No one is quite sure why it is his nickname but it is.

Sutton Sleeping

Sutton & Mama

Now at almost 18 months old he is such a passionate, vibrant, entertaining little guy.  He is so vocal and speaks with such conviction he could convince you the sky is purple.  This child has little to no fear!  He would walk right off the couch if we would let him.  This fearlessness has led us to sometimes refer to him as “knot head.”  Sutton can’t go one week without banging into something.  His favorite game is peek-a-boo and like his brother he LOVES books.  They love their Bible Stories and Bible Prayers books, which makes me a happy mama.  Sutton has been such a wonderful eater since he was a baby.  I was always so sad because he couldn’t nurse well.  He only latched ONCE and I will never forget the bonding I felt to him and how elated I was in that moment.  But, I worked so hard to pump for him to get some breast milk!!

Sutton has the funniest facial expressions and it seems like each second there is a new one.  His favorite is the crinkled nose!  He will do it when he is happy and even when he is angry.  This boy’s laugh is from the GUT!  It is the funniest most contagious giggle and it comes out pretty easy.  I always say he is my passionate child.  He can be emotional and temper-mental but he can also be the most tender boy.  He loves to share his toys with me and gets frustrated when Fynn won’t take what he is trying to give him.

I’m so curious as to who these two guys will grow into.  It’s so amazing to see two children who shared a womb for 35 weeks and 5 days share a language only they understand, yet they are so different in so many ways!

I don’t do much as far as making an impact on the world….I don’t save lives, I don’t fight in wars, I don’t make million dollar decisions each day…..but I will say this, I will do my best to raise two well-rounded, polite, loving and admirable boys who I hope will make a wonderful difference in their lives.

Until next post….

The Mamarazzi

July 3, 2011
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My Family Part II

Posted in Fynn, Uncategorized by

FynnMy First Born Son. Yes I have twins but Fynn was my first born.

It is common for a woman’s brain to go to MUSH once she becomes pregnant. It is also common for that MUSH to get even worse once that child(ren) arrives. I can testify that I am one of those said women. But, I will NEVER. EVER. EVER forget that moment in the operating room I first heard my sweet Fynnie boy.

The c-section happened so fast. I looked up and asked Jason, “have they started yet?” They were already half-way to my uterus. Lovely, I know. It felt like seconds later I heard this cry that literally made my heart skip a beat. That moment where you hear the evidence of life you created and longed for for such a long time. I hadn’t seen his face yet but listening to him was music to my hears. Jason ran over to check on him and came back to inform me, “he looks like a little old man!” I barely got a glimpse of the little 5 lbs 6 oz boy before it was time to get his brother out.

The tears were a culmination of feelings – excitement, overwhelming love, fear of being a parent and not doing it right, caution to let my guard down that this was it…..this was the moment I’d prayed about for YEARS…..could I finally enjoy this moment without something going wrong?

Once they got me into the recovery room I got to officially meet my Fynn. He seemed so tiny yet so intimidating. He nursed like a champ from his first hour. I remember being on the phone with Jason’s mother (Kiki) and practically yelling, “I’m breastfeeding!!!!” I still couldn’t believe what was taking place at that very moment.

Mama & Fynn

The first three months were mostly a blur. Our lives revolved around a 3 hour schedule. Nurse Fynn. Wait 30-45 minutes to pump for his brother. Diapers. Naps. Wash Bottles. Remember to eat. Remember to shower. Repeat.

Fynn was always so soft, sweet, smiley and had the world’s largest BOOGIES!! Jason’s dad has nicknamed him “booger man” due to these massive objects. I even photographed one we sucked out with the aspirator….maybe that was the first clue to becoming a mamarazzi. I won’t share that photo.

Fynn

 

Fynn is now almost 18 months and he still brightens every day.  He is the child who has had all but his 2nd molars come in and never made a peep.  He has been sleeping through the night since he was 4-5 months old.  He is easily entertained and can study objects forever.  He has always had crazy hair with two cowlicks in the back making a natural mohawk.  He has my feet and looks like a mini version of my brother, Jordan.  At about a month old we were sure he would have red hair, of course now it is blond.  He loves cartoons and I sometimes worry he has an addiction.  Mom has now cut him back to very limited time watching Sprout or Disney.  This child LOVES milk.  Could drink it all day if we would let him.  He is still quiet most of the time, soft and sweet but when he gets excited it is a DANCE PARTY!

Fynn

 

Fynn

His sweet smile will capture the heart of any person in this world.  I’m so blessed to have this child and I will spend my life making sure I am the best mother I can be.

Until next post….

The Mamarazzi

 

July 2, 2011
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