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Just words…

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No photos today.  We started our Sunday off a bit earlier than usual (7:50 a.m.) so we had some sweet family snuggles in bed with the boys.  Somehow they always end up climbing on top of me and letting daddy rest his eyes comfortably…not sure how that happens.

We went to church and it was such an awesome service.  I didn’t grow up in a church or in a religious household.  I met people along the path of life who SHOWED me what being a Christian is all about.  It wasn’t forced upon me as a small child or discussed at the dinner table.  My mother and I did go to church on Easter but that was about it.  I would go with my friend, Kelsey, to her family’s church, which I always liked.  It was very laid-back and fun for kids.  I attended a private, Christian high school where I met Katie, the MOST influential Christian I have ever known.  I say influential because she CHANGED ME!

I was so tired of going to a new church and just constantly feeling left out, lost, judged and confused.  I was so lost and trying to find my way toward something I knew basically nothing about.  Katie SHOWED me the TRUE MEANING OF AGAPE!!  I was nothing like Katie.  She grew up with the same group of girls in the same Christian school who all then went to the same high school.  Their parents were friends, they all knew everything about each other.  They were a tight circle.  I moved schools A LOT and made a lot of different friends all over.  Katie came into my life when I was going to need it the most.

Instead of preaching scripture to me or telling me all the things I would need to change or do, she just simply loved and accepted me and became my friend.  FLAWS & ALL!  By showing me what true friendship and love and caring is all about I was finally able to put those brick walls down and let God into my life.  This allowed me to know God on a personal level without it feeling forced or even encouraged, to be honest.  Katie was just a GOOD PERSON with an amazing heart.

The first weekend my husband and I started dating was while we were at Oklahoma State University.  We were surrounded by parties and people having casual conversations about mundane things.  Jason and I sat in a hallway and discussed the SERIOUS stuff in life….do you want to get married? do you want kids? how many? when? do you go to church? what type of church do you belong to? what political party do you belong to?  Yes, we were THOSE two.  But, that is how we discovered we were meant to be together.

His family introduced me to the non-denominational church, which I fell in love with.  It was so CLEAR and EASY to understand and it held my attention.  Since moving back home to Oklahoma we have discovered an amazing church.  SO comfortable, friendly, powerful messages and our kids like it.

If you know me personally you know I am a Christian and I am a Republican.  But I’m also not one to turn away a friend because they are not like me.

The reason I write this post is because in the past year (since turning 30 ugh) it seems like my life is becoming so much FULLER.  I’m opening up to new ideas and new people and new things and all it is doing is enriching my life so MUCH more.  I’ve learned to LOVE working out and getting in shape.  I’ve joined a Mothers of Multiples group, which is fantastic!  I’m trying new things and meeting people everywhere I go.

Sure I love the people in my life but why not open it up to new experiences?  I’ve made new friends who may or may not agree with me on religion or politics or even how I parent my children BUT if we only surround ourselves with people who are JUST LIKE US, what is enriching about that?

I don’t want to wake up when I’m 70 and say I didn’t meet any new, interesting people, didn’t develop new friendships or try anything different.

If Katie had looked at me like just another new student who she had nothing in common with, we would have missed out on a beautiful friendship and who knows where I would be.  That one friendship changed my life forever.

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi

October 16, 2011

Grammie Pammie

Posted in Fynn, Sutton, Uncategorized by

We drove to my hometown today to visit my family.  Yes it is sad to say but most of my family is at one cemetery in a small Oklahoma town.  The last time I was there was when we buried my grandfather, my mom’s dad, in May 2009.  Two weeks after we buried him I found out I was pregnant.  Such bittersweet timing.

My grandmother was buried here in 1989 and my mom in 1999.  My stepdad’s parents and sister are also buried here.  I met his mother when I was 10 and she passed in 2007.  She was such a remarkable woman.  She was feisty and loved her professional sports!  My great-grandparents on my mother’s side are also buried here as well.  Like I said, lots of family here.

I’ve wanted to take the boys but wasn’t sure what age would be appropriate but for some reason it’s been tugging at my heart to go visit.

Right after my mom passed I used to go out there often and just sit by her grave and spend some quiet time with just she and I.  Some people don’t like the idea of graves and that the person is no longer there so it really doesn’t matter but for me, personally, it’s been the place I can go and feel somewhat “connected” to her.  I feel her with me most days but this is such a peaceful setting, it’s hard to stay away.

My mom’s name is Pamela or Pam as most knew her.  We call her Grammie Pammie.

*I can’t take credit for all these photos, some were taken by my husband.

I will bring the boys here often and we will always talk about Grammie Pammie.  It’s so devastating they will never truly know her.

My mom was my best friend and raising kids without her is the most difficult task I will ever face.

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi


September 10, 2011

MMMM Cupcakes!

Every week Jason’s grandma and grandpa bring us whole milk straight from the dairy farm for our boys.  It’s great knowing they are getting such pure, healthy milk every day.  Well Kiki wanted to take the boys to the actual dairy farm so we could try and see the cows.  We went but you couldn’t see much.  It was so neat seeing a family business still in action after so many years.

Since we were in town we picked up grandma and went to get cupcakes.  For those that know me well know that my children never gets sweets – no cake, no cookies, no candy – NOTHING.  The sweetest thing they get is a Cliff bar or fruit.  They had cake on their first birthday and since then they have had one cookie and a tiny bit of vanilla ice cream.  They still have not had chocolate.

Well Fynn does not like cupcakes.

He was SO not impressed.

Sutton on the other hand enjoyed his!

He seems pretty happy don’t ya think?

It’s funny because Kiki, Grandma and I were talking and on one hand I was kind of proud Fynn didn’t like the sweets but then the other part of me was wanting him to enjoy the yummyness that is CUPCAKES!

This does not mean, however, I’ll be giving sweets more often.  Maybe Halloween they can have a cookie.

I was sitting there in this sweet cupcake shop thinking how lucky my boys are to get to come on a random afternoon to sit and have a sweet snack with not only their Kiki but also their great-grandma.

I didn’t even get to know all my grandparents much less GREAT grandparents.

Until next post…

The Mamarazzi


August 29, 2011

My Family Part II

Posted in Fynn, Uncategorized by

FynnMy First Born Son. Yes I have twins but Fynn was my first born.

It is common for a woman’s brain to go to MUSH once she becomes pregnant. It is also common for that MUSH to get even worse once that child(ren) arrives. I can testify that I am one of those said women. But, I will NEVER. EVER. EVER forget that moment in the operating room I first heard my sweet Fynnie boy.

The c-section happened so fast. I looked up and asked Jason, “have they started yet?” They were already half-way to my uterus. Lovely, I know. It felt like seconds later I heard this cry that literally made my heart skip a beat. That moment where you hear the evidence of life you created and longed for for such a long time. I hadn’t seen his face yet but listening to him was music to my hears. Jason ran over to check on him and came back to inform me, “he looks like a little old man!” I barely got a glimpse of the little 5 lbs 6 oz boy before it was time to get his brother out.

The tears were a culmination of feelings – excitement, overwhelming love, fear of being a parent and not doing it right, caution to let my guard down that this was it…..this was the moment I’d prayed about for YEARS…..could I finally enjoy this moment without something going wrong?

Once they got me into the recovery room I got to officially meet my Fynn. He seemed so tiny yet so intimidating. He nursed like a champ from his first hour. I remember being on the phone with Jason’s mother (Kiki) and practically yelling, “I’m breastfeeding!!!!” I still couldn’t believe what was taking place at that very moment.

Mama & Fynn

The first three months were mostly a blur. Our lives revolved around a 3 hour schedule. Nurse Fynn. Wait 30-45 minutes to pump for his brother. Diapers. Naps. Wash Bottles. Remember to eat. Remember to shower. Repeat.

Fynn was always so soft, sweet, smiley and had the world’s largest BOOGIES!! Jason’s dad has nicknamed him “booger man” due to these massive objects. I even photographed one we sucked out with the aspirator….maybe that was the first clue to becoming a mamarazzi. I won’t share that photo.



Fynn is now almost 18 months and he still brightens every day.  He is the child who has had all but his 2nd molars come in and never made a peep.  He has been sleeping through the night since he was 4-5 months old.  He is easily entertained and can study objects forever.  He has always had crazy hair with two cowlicks in the back making a natural mohawk.  He has my feet and looks like a mini version of my brother, Jordan.  At about a month old we were sure he would have red hair, of course now it is blond.  He loves cartoons and I sometimes worry he has an addiction.  Mom has now cut him back to very limited time watching Sprout or Disney.  This child LOVES milk.  Could drink it all day if we would let him.  He is still quiet most of the time, soft and sweet but when he gets excited it is a DANCE PARTY!




His sweet smile will capture the heart of any person in this world.  I’m so blessed to have this child and I will spend my life making sure I am the best mother I can be.

Until next post….

The Mamarazzi


July 2, 2011